Light beyond the storm.
""He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
"yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11
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Sunday, September 6, 2009 Term 3 is over! Finally hols... i can sleep more... haha =D Teachers' day celebration on monday was ok... pretty uptight the whole day and my biggest regret is that i didnt have a chance to pray with the com. but i did pray on my own, because i knew we can plan for everything, but it's only God who can make all things work well. And yup, God was with us... the whole concert went on well. And even the simple performance during lunch went on well. =) Thank God... Learning point: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight! Well... guess i need to learn to trust and not get so uptight everytime... :) and i pray that i will grow into the roles given to me even better...:) Labels: In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:40 AM
Had a new haircut and color. Hee... birthday month discount ma. Looks different? i guess so, but i will get use to it after a few days. Spent some time packing my room on sat. Managed to clear my 2 shelves and some files on the table. Read this chapter in Woman after God's own heart which talks about woman learning to taking care of their household because that's God's calling for them. God wants us to keep our houses clean, and become a sanctuary for our families. I'm not married, but suddenly it dawns on me that this truth applies to me too. I need to keep my room clean, and learn now, so that i will grow to be a virtuous woman. HAHa.. sounds weird. But yah, woman after God's own heart also takes care of her house. =) Was late again for platform. Felt super guilty.. No matter what reasons i can give, there is no excuses. I need to stop being late. :( God suddenly spoke to me the other day about this issue. I used to be punctual, and in fact, sometimes early for my appointments. Still remember sometimes i will wait for people, sit down at mrt station and read a book. But i think... after uni days? I became lazy, and don't like to wait. I will plan such tt i reach on time, but usu things crop up and i will end up late. I need to pluck out the lazy bug in me, plan to reach ahead. But platform was good. Told God tt i'm not going to let any distraction draws me from worshipping Him. It can be abit distracting when i look out for people from stage, camera man walking around etc... God told me tt when i think about how others think, i am worshipping them. But, i only have one audience, my Daddy God, and should only worship Him. That was a new revelation. HAHA. And like what sebas shared, let us worship God with all we have so that our worship is like the woman who broke the alabaster jar of perfume, smelling good! And i did! I really dance with no reservations and i sang out loud whenever i can. Really breatheless. Emmanuel is God with us, and as we took the Lord's supper, God reminded me again, He is with me! He has a part in me. :) Sermon was pretty familiar and simple. God's economic order, we are stewards, all we have are God's and He can use them. Ps Khong did a simple illustration where he took ps hee guan's $10 and gave it to ps yang chern. Then he told ps yang chern to give away the $10, which was easy cos the money was not his. If all we have are God's, it will be easy for us to give right? But i know it's difficult for me to give. Greed, fear, pride.... I want more for myself, i fear i have not enough, i want to look good with wealth and blessings. May God help me, as i put in all the notes i have, to give as i have received. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, Serving God -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:02 AM
Had rehearsal.. and i had a new revelation from the song, This is our God. And i will fall at Your feet, I will fall at Your feet, And i will worship You here. We fall at the feet of God, and we can worship from there. The feet is a place of worship. And the feet was where Jesus humbled himself to wash them for His disciples. The place of worship is the place of servanthood. The greatest worship God delights in, is probably when we serve in humility. Freely You gave it all for us, Surrendered Your life upon that cross, Great is the love, Poured out for all, This is our God. Lifted on high from death to life, Forever our God is glorified, Servant and King, Rescued the world, This is our God. Our best example for this servanthood worship is Jesus. Jesus gave all He had, even His life, as worship onto the Lord. And God glorified Him in the end. Similarly, we need to learn to give all we had. Sebas read the passage from Mat 26:6-13 about the woman who poured her alabaster jar of perfume on Jesus. That was probably all she had, and what could make her richer and better. But she chose to pour it on Jesus and this act was recorded in memory of her.Can we give our all to God? Our wealth, our achievements, our loved ones, our talents.... Using and giving all i have, to be a servant for Jesus.... Labels: In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:31 AM
School's over! But it's not hols yet, because we still have o level and still have to go back to school. Been doing invigilation in other schools. Quite interesting, like... i used to be there taking the exams. HAHA... shall blog on my birthday. hehe.. hmm.. really thrilled and blessed by the "surprise" at the airport. Wasn't a big hoo-hah, but i appreciated it sooo much. =) Thanks for the balloon, drawings, chocolates, sweets, cards, watch, cake.. Thanks for going down to airport so early to plan and get ready.. Thanks for having lunch at Mac's and the mini celebration.. thanks! =) And another surprise came after church. Pearlyn was really cute, dragging me out, saying that she had something to tell me. And ta-da, saw so many of them.. Ber, shiying, valerie, janice, darie, vicki, linda, jiaying.. Beyond words. Thank you for coming to church and celebrating my birthday for me.. Thanks for the gifts, love every single one of it.. Thank yousss! =) And third surprise came from dearest pastor lily. She remembered! and bought me a nice CD. Very blessed and thankful indeed. She won't see this, but i've sms-ed. Thank you! =) And thanks to all who sms-ed and dropped a message on facebook. hehe... thanks! =) Went back to the airport for the second time, this time to pick my sis who is coming back from malaysis. Went out for dinner with my family after that. Had a simple meal, but didnt get to cut the cake because brother was working till late. Doesn't matter, am just grateful for the thoughts and simple gestures. =) So blessed already, but of course Daddy God remembers too! Pastor Patrick shared a very thought provoking and heart jolting message on serving. To bring people to the Kingdom, it is through being a servant. Only when we serve humbly and be relevant to people's need, can we be an impact. See, have compassion, then heal. We don't just see people as part of the scenery, or people who can work for us or we work for them. We need to see their needs and serve them, the only way which Jesus showed, was to walk and fellowship with them. "Until I can trust you with my compassion, I cant trust you with my power" This line struck me so hard. When i pray, i want to see miracles and answers. When i work, i want to see fruits and work done. Bringing healing to the sick, causing the blind to see. But God cant trust us with that power He gave Jesus, unless we can have compassion like Jesus. It struck me the hardest, because i realised i got it wrong. Being a christian is not about praying and performing miracles, not about playing church and bringing people to the Lord, not about fulfilling our duties at church and doing what we can to meet up to God's expectation. Not that these are wrong, they are what God wants us to do. God does not want to rule the world, have people submit to Him, have control over all and power and authority. He has it all. God wants to love His people. Best shown in His Son, who came not to overthrow the rulers and rule the world Himself, not to display of His power and make everyone believe in Him.. else He would have walked down from the cross? But He died because He loves us and want to bring us back to a loving father. How simple... God is love. =) Just that day before, God spoke to me. And He confirmed it during service again. I told God, i want, but i cant. I am weak... so please help me. And i know He will. And He told me on wed again, i have favor so that i can make an impact. I am an impact-maker. =) Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a wonderful birthday. =)Labels: Christ in me, Event, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:08 AM
Exams are finally over, all the markings too. Yays! haha.. Invigilation can be abit tiring though. :P Now that exams are over, the students are having post exams activity, i suddenly felt like a business woman, cum entrepreneur cum inventor. HAHA.. having to guide them along with their projects. Thank God too, for whatever He is doing in my life. Went through quite abit of things recently, cell, grandma's death... But i saw Him with me and i know that through all these things He is moulding me and showing me more things. :) Thank God for what He is doing in my cell. :) It wasn't easier to face all the things, but thankfully, we managed to talk some things out. Pray that i will learn and grow to be a better leader. Felt a burden off my shoulders too. Guess i have been depending too much on my own strength. Will learn to depend more on Him. :) Didn't know that i was pretty much affected by granny's issues. But i knew sth was in my heart and was affecting how i see ppl and think. Thankfully pastor sat me down and talked through certain things. Realised that it is really ok to be not ok, but it's impt how we manage our emotions and be mature. Talking it through and releasing the issues to God really set my heart back again. :) "Daddy God, pls let granny come to You." Labels: In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:19 AM
Just wrote my reflection for worship central confercen on 12 april by Tim Hughes, Al Gordon and team.. shall share here... 1st Morning Session This is probably the most thought provoking and strongest session for me. What Tim Hughes taught was what we have heard or learnt before. Worship is the way we live our lives in response to the revelation of God. But I realized one thing; I have distorted the meaning of worship which I have heard because the true meaning of worship is pretty difficult to grasp. I used to think, worship is how I live my life to please and thank God, worship is when I ask God to help me worship Him, worship is what I can do to enter into God’s presence. But when I saw how Tim Hughes and Al Gordon worshipped God, I realized worship is the simplicity of heart which just humble before God, knowing that there is nothing we can do to allow ourselves to worship God. It is God Himself allowing and bringing us into His presence to worship Him. And when we realize this and know we cannot, we are humbled and we turn to give God glory. True worship has the power to change us and to change the world because we realize how powerful God is and humble ourselves to His change. He reveals Himself and ourselves to us, so that we put down ourselves and yearn to be like Him. Worship Theology 2 things which I have learnt from 2 bible characters, John and Moses, are to be intimate with God and to be obedient. John was so close to Jesus, he could lay his head on Jesus’ chest, to hear His heartbeat. God calls us to come near to worship Him, and to hear His heartbeat, which is for the poor and lost. Moses on the other hand, though was a man of God, he came to a point in time when he felt the stress of the people and did not obey God by speaking to the rock, and instead he struck the rock which he did previously. I have never seen this story in this way and it was a great lesson learnt. Sometimes we tend to give in to temptations and do things in our ways which we feel more comfortable or confident in. However, God calls for obedience, so that He can bless us with greater things, or we might be like Moses, who never saw the Promised Land. This analogy is pretty cool, which I must remember. “Every morning I wake up, I set myself on fire by reading the bible or praying. Then I go out and spread the fire.” Authentic Leadership This session was similar to the email pastor rol sent out to us, so it was a reminder with further add-ons by Al Gordon. All that were shared are tools we can use to make us better leaders. No need to repeat the points, but I shall share what I have learnt. 1) Be real – You are the same when you are on stage, with your members, with your family or even alone. 2) Be secure in the Lord – God loves me, I will live me. 3) Be reflective – I can learn and do many things, but I need to reflect, make changes and apply new lessons on my life so that I change for the better. Evening Session The last session was a summary to all that we have learnt, our worship must be Christ-centred, Holy Spirit led, revealing the Father, intimate, sensitive to the need of the people and transforming. 1) Before we sing to the Lord, He already sings to us. 2) I must decrease and He must increase. 3) Be a thermostat worshipper, to set the temperature for worship and influence the people around. Finally, I guess the most important lesson I have learnt is not in the sessions conducted, but it’s in the lives of Tim and Al. I remembered pastor shared how Tim was disgusted with the prize award which he went to collect the award for his song, “Here I am to worship”. He responded that songs for worship are meant for God, not the awards. I was humbled by this sharing. So many times I hoped for recognition for things I have done, but in Tim, I realized everything should be for God, not expecting rewards. I see in them the simplicity of life, which is just to please God. This reminds me that it is not the things I do that matter, not how well I dance, play the guitar, lead the cell, preach the gospel, share a word, minister or pray. It is how I live my life that matters to God and influences people around. Labels: Christ in me, Event, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:04 AM
it's 3:25am, just finished marking the maths test papers. quite sad that many of them failed. hopefully they will be able to do better for mid-year. God has been teaching me lots these days. My practicum period is like a crunch time, when i'm pretty stressed and stretched, but i think i'm handling abit better as compared to honours year. Probably this is a small crunch, so more manageable. Probably also because God moulded me during my honours year,plus reading a psalm a day. Though sometimes i get very stressed and lost focus, God always remind me and help me focus back on Him. We often get drowned in our own struggles and problems, but when we looked at Jesus, we can walk on the waters of trouble. just like peter who looked and Jesus and could walk, but sink when he turned his eyes and looked at the water. Dont look at our problems, look at God. Please God only, not the people around. =) Through the session at pastor's place, i learnt 2 things. I always remind myself that it is God who does the work. We pray and do what we can as human, but He is the one who will cause the transformation in me and in my girls, He will bring forth fruits and growth. But i realised, it's not just that. It's not just asking God to do the work, but to ask God to anoint me as that i can do His work. Hope i'm making sense... It's not just about, "God, please bless so-n-so and do Your work in her." But it's "God, please give me the wisdom and anoint me to be like You, so that i can go and do Your work." "Ask and it will be given to you" Mat 7:7. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." Jas 1:5 Second, we received God's love and forgiveness, and we in turn, serve Him out of thanksgiving and gratitude. Sounds familiar? But today i had a new revelation of it. Jesus asked peter if he loved him three times and when peter said he loved Jesus, Jesus said, "Feed my sheep." Yes, if we love Jesus, we should show it through feeding his sheep. First, we receive God's love for us, knowing that God love us so much, we build a relationship with Him, loving Him. And in loving Him, we will obey and do what He asks us, which is to feed His sheep. It's not like a repaying debt or favor kind of thing. But it is a love relationship with Jesus, so that we are obedient to Him and want to do the things that He is pleased with. And in loving Him, we love the things that He loves. Just like peter who went on serving God, not purely out of thanksgiving and gratitude, because that will cause us to come to a point when we say we have done enough to repay God. Then, our deeds are not link to our hearts. But it's to serve God continuously, because we have a love-relationship with God and we do things out of the overflow of God's love in our hearts and our deeds will be full of love. First, receive God's love and learn to love Him. This season, God is super loud. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28 God has His plans for me, and they would be good. Even if things are not going well now, i trust that God will make all things good for His plans. And see again, those who love Him. Love God! "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." prov 9:10 Always hear about the fear of the Lord, but never really understanding until last time when pastor julie shared that to her, the fear of the Lord is when you think about not having God in your life. How broken, empty and alone... and recently, God is bringing me back to the fear of the Lord. Truely, without it, we will serve without passion and fire. Fear of the Lord, is when i see God in His mighty power and majesty and i am amazed by it. It's when i see how huge His love is, that He opened up His hands to be nailed to the cross, to hung there when He could have came down, to die when He didnt need to.... the amazing love, will keep me in awe of Him and fear Him... giving Him respect and honour. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." Psa 116:15 Die to myself, my pride, my wants, my dreams, my emotions, my needs, my desires, my selfishness, my negative thoughts..... it is precious to the Lord, because when we die, Jesus lives in us. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 3:25 AM
Havent been updating cos i'm really tired down by practicum. Lesson plans, markings, remedial, meetings, science centre trips.... God has been speaking alot recently too... since sanctification, to practicum, to services, to worship seminar with worship central... loads loads. But there is only 1 reason why He is speaking to me regarding so many things. He loves me. =) I know He is going to take it deeper, breaking me further till i die to myself and abandon myself for Him, showing me more of myself, to know how ugly, dirty and small i am as compared to Him, and moulding me so that i can become more like Him. This is a journey, the only end is when Jesus comes again. Till then, it will never stop, because i need constant breaking and humbling so that i remain humble and pleasing to Him. How would success look like? When i face more n more difficult circumstances, going through tougher and tougher problems, being broken more and more, because that means i am growing in the Lord. Sounds tough and painful? I guess i'm learning to say no. Because my joy, delight and pleasure should not come from the external, from having a good life with no problems. My joy, delight and pleasure comes from knowing that God is in-charge and He is still transforming me to be like Him. Tougher means i'm getting nearer to that goal. Can you imagine these words came from huihui? No, they didn't. They came from God... because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, knowing God and His work in us. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 11:43 PM
First day of practicum! Last week was a relaxing week for me. Went to see the doctor for my lips, allegy, and had my wisdom teeth extraction. I'm less wise now. HAHA. Quite ok, just that there are 2 ulcers formed near it, so more painful. Sunday's sermon was..... no words to describe. haha. Was feeling abit lost and frustrated on sat night, like havent really been fasting and praying, cant feel the move and heart of God. I need more. Then on sun, something happened at home. Added to my frustration and lostness. I need God. Sermon on brokenness. guess i havent been broken recently. It's always a journey of brokenness, more and more each time. It's never complete... like one time broken, then done. Because when we consider ourselves once broken and done, we allow pride to come in and say "I'm ok le, cos God has dealt with me." And for me, i know i need to respond to God. Like what lionel wrote in his blog, i can be serving God, leading cell, dancing etc... but my heart has gone cold. I have lost that first love, that passion and fervor for God. Like what pastor khong said, i know what is right and what to do, but the heart of it all is missing. I need a heart transplantation. Thank God for showing me. Woke up earlier this morning to spend some time with God. Not like a wow wow feeling or what. But it's just peaceful and nice to know that i can still do it for Him. Then school. HAHA. Didnt get to meet the students in class because one of my CTs was on MC, missed the other's lesson. The staff are generally nice. And the students were so excited to see us. HAHA. According to the SCM, they like to see new teachers. OH, huimin, my school starts school at 850am on mon. HAHa. 730-850 is for the teachers to do their sharings. So... tmr i shall go in and meet the students in class. hehe. Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:57 AM
Havent been blogging, too lazy! haha. Time passes so fast! my gosh... CNY is over, Valentine's day is over, my school term is ending and practicum is starting. that rhymes. haha.. Let's see what i have been doing recently. Went to pastor's place on chu san. Enjoyed myself. haha. played abit of majong, talked to pastors, my girls had fun with sheryl (i hope. haha)... chu si, in church was ok. Pastor Khong is back! and he shared on resting and being still in the Lord. Kind of cool, like resting in storms! i want! First we must trust in the Lord and do good. hang in with God, even if things are difficult now. Continue to have faith in Him, and do good, we will then dwell in his safety. Second we need to delight ourselves in the Lord and be satisfied. When our greatest delight, desires and plans are the same as God, God will bless us with whatever we want, because that's what He wants too! Imagine, ask for anything and it will be given! But we need to deny ourselves... a journey i am still learning. Finally, we need to commit ourselves to the Lord and we will have success. I like the How Would Success Looks Like from pastor. I used to think that success will be having less problems, i will be a strong christian, strong disciples, everything good. HAHa. But God showed me that success is when He brings us to steeper slopes, bigger challenges, requires more commitment, because it means we are grow stronger! Weekdays, back to school, mugged for assignments. 1 lesson plan, 2 essays and 1 presentation in that week. Hee. Oh, then i must blog about thursday. Went down to train with adult dance team. They are very disciplined. First warm up by royston. Really good warm up. HAHA. i felt stretched. Then circuit training... i heard this term, i scare. because i used to have really "xiong" circuit training when i was in netball. But thankfully, the circuit training wasnt like the ones i had. But "xiong" enough to make me felt i have exercised. Kelvin then went through some routines on ballet. haha! quite fun actually, like tiptoe, chine, turns, spot... I've learnt something new. Practising at home eh.. Came the part i must blog on. Pastor paul joined us at 930pm, and we went into spiritual training. so cool right! physical then spiritual. So he got us to read psalm 45, and shared abit. Like Jesus being the King, and we are the bride. He also shared from his experience in bogota, when he lost his wallet and got it back the next day. The adults also had one group to minister from that psalm using dance. Cool! But the best part was when pastor paul shared about his spiritual experience. He was feeling quite blue on monday. Monday blues... and he read psalm 42. Then the next day psalm 43. God brought out the point, why are you so downcast? And he realised he doesnt have to. So he shared psalm 43:5, that when we are feeling down, one way to get out of it, is to praise God. Psalm 8:2, God ordained praises from children because they are the most innocent and would know how to thank God easily and freely. Then Pastor paul gave this illustration. When we are down and struggling, it's like having many little demons holding on to us. No matter how we shake, we cannot get them off. But God says, the best way is to praise Him. When we praise Him, the demons cannot take it. They cant stand the praises of God, and its power. So...... they will cover their ears. With 2 hands covering their ears, how to hold on to us? So all we need to do is to jump and dance, then the demons will fall off! So cute right! But so true. So if you are facing any problems today, praise God and jump and dance with joy!!! =D Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:57 AM
Well, have been bloggin on my cell's blog for psalms, so havent been blogging on this blog. But i shall blog on today. so special indeed. =) Actually, need to rewind abit to wed, leader's mtg. Ps julie was sharing on deut 6:4-19. Three points, 1) remember who God is. 2) Hear and obey. 3) Fear the Lord. She gave such a beautiful explanation on the familiar verse, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Heart means loving God with all my thoughts and mind, not just the emotions, but the thinking.. like u love someone, u will think about that person day n night. Same! but what's amazing is the word strength. Love demands strength. Sounds weird? maybe, but it's true. It takes effort to love. Like loving an unlovable, you need to make yourself love him/her no matter what. Even if that person is lovable, you still need to find time, accept his/her characters, appreciate them.... And ps julie said, if u want to be intimate with God, you have to draw near. But drawing nearer means we need to have the fear of a holy God. Which is why we need to repent of our sins, receive and give forgiveness, forget the good n bad, and get rid of all the bad habits, attitudes etc. And when we do all these, we come naked before God, with nothing to hide.. that's where there is intimacy. There was an invitation to enter into God's rest, to pray that we can grow more intimate with the Lord. But i wasnt sure if it was me.... Then today, during church, first they dedicate the teachers. HAHA. me n kit went forward cos we training teachers mah. Haha. Receive anointing and blessing for practicum lor. (: and for the rest of the year. No more dedication le, better go. kiasu. heh. Then sermon on psalm 1. Finding the way to God's heart.. 1) we must decide to separate our mind from the world. 2) and delight to saturate our spirit with the word. the second point spoke to me pretty much. Meditation... and when ps melvyn asked, do u spend time reading the word of God? I can say, yes... while travelling, at night before blogging, i will read. But... do u enjoy it? I glurpped. I do... but i know i also tend to rush through and think of it as a duty. What ps melvyn said next totally rocked me from my seat. "According to your faith, it will be done. Because in the spiritual realm, there is no boundary. But we cannot rise up to the level of faith if we dont feed our spirit man." Such a familiar verse... but i saw new revelation. God says there is no limit to what He can do, and He will be able to do all things, if we ask in faith. That is a huge faith? I guess it's a faith that says, "God, You can do it! Do it for me!" Like "Dad, you can buy me a plate of chicken rice. Buy for me!" haha.. sounds out of point? But it's just so simple leh. And it's also very simple how to have that faith... to feed the spirit man by reading His word. That's no all.. it's like buy one get one free. You read His word, you will have a faith to ask of anything and it will be given to you, AND, you will be like a tree transplanted to where God's water is, so that you can bear fruits, be green forever and prosper. Good deal? I think it's more than good! Yes it may be hard for us to keep the passion in reading His word. But we just need to press in, and it will become a habit, like we need to eat food daily. Remember how you crave for a plate of hokkien mee, a cheese burger, an ice cream or whatever ur fav food. same! Finally it's that word "know". God knows us, not just know who we are, what we work as, where we live... He knows us better than our families and best friends. He knows your fav food/drink, knows your thoughts and feelings, knows your sins and strengths, knows what you have done and not be able to share with anyone else... intimacy. He knows. So... today was very special. I have performed according to expectation, but God called me to return to my first love for Him. The curiosity in reading about Him, the excitment in going for events, the joy of serving in whatever pastor asked me to, the passion of sharing and impacting into the lives of my girls, the love that He has always been showing me. I rededicated myself to the Lord, to grow in intimacy with Him. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:25 AM
oh my gosh... my entry has just been destroyed cos of poor internet connection. boohoo... have to retyped. :( hmmm.. 9 dec, baby reuel's dedication. Was great hearing from pastor rol n lf on their experience with baby. Amazed at what God is and has done for them. :) Heard from pastor eugene n julie too.. Pastor julie is such a great mom, i hope i can be like her next time, teaching and grooming my children with God's help. And baby reuel is so cute pls... =D 16 dec, pastor eugene's sermon on christmas. quite enlightening. Cos usu christmas is a time of celebration and remembering that Jesus came for us so that we can be saved. But his message shed some new light on christmas.. Christmas is about the presence of God with us, thus we have to go on our knees in reverence, to be attentive to hear what He wants to say and to celebrate Him. So many times we celebrated Christmas, but have we celebrated with Him? This year, i shall find time to have personal sanctification and time with Him... Jesus' letter to us is so touching.. i will definitely go for His party :) Watched star award at night.. metamorphosis won. i love that show.. HAHA. Was shocked when zheng geping said gan xie zu on stage. Didnt know he's a christian. Pretty surprised that not all the 7 princesses won awards... but doesnt matter with me. haha. cos my fav 2 won. jessica liu and rui en. Huang biren, ivy lee, yvonne lim, qi yu wu, bryan wong and quan yi feng won too. :) Went to send my sis later on in the night. She's going shanghai.. so cool! got snow.. hee. reached airport at 1145pm, she went in at 1230am, we left at 230am. hehe.. cos it's sis's first trip overseas, mom's first time sending her off. So we went to the viewing mall. couldnt see the plane move, but caught it taking off. mum was excited to see it take off so fast and and turning in the sky. =) i shall save up money so that i can bring her overseas :) Labels: In the mirror, Random -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:59 AM
I must blog about today. Today's sermon was on the 10th blessing, forgiveness. Pastor Eugene preached on mat 18:21-35. It's the exact same passage he preached on 30 oct 2004 in TC, same explanation of the parable, same 2 steps on how to forgive: Receive His forgiveness - be grateful n understand the magnitude of His grace. Release His forgiveness - be grcious n unplug the blessings of His grace. So familiar... deeply etched in my mind cos that sermon impacted me deeply. Today was like dejavu.... Pastor Eugene did add new points which caught my attention too.. 1) Salvation is unconditional; fellowship with the Father is conditional. 2) Justification before God is unconditional;the anointing of the Spirit is conditional. 3) Our status in the family is unconditional;our intimacy with Christ is conditional. 4)Our eternal destiny - whether we go to heaven or hell - is fixed;but receiving a reward is conditional. Set me thinking... Unforgiveness will affect our relationship with God, causing us not to be able to hear Him, fellowship with Him, receive His anointing and growing close to Him. I sure dont want to be obstructed from coming to Him and growing in Him. But i sat there, not as affected as in 2004, guess i have released unforgiveness and is handling things much better now. What almost threw me off my seat was when pastor E shared abt how to forgive, by being grateful and understanding the magnitude of His grace. God suddenly reminded me of that night. After going forward for altar call, pastor laifun prayed for me. Was deeply ministered... it was one of the first, if not the first time, i release forgiveness for the people who have hurt me. It wasn't easy, of course.. i rmb crying badly. but pastor just guided me through and God comforted me. Felt very light and relieved after tt. Of course min and peggy comforted me too. Then it was Fever 04 meeting. Watched the video of children in cambodia. I still can rmb how they walked among the rubbish to pick up things, sat by the road to beg.. i rmb i saw this scene of a girl looking at the camera, and i was so moved.. i could be that girl, suffering in cambodia. But here i am blessed, yet sometimes unsatisfied and complaining about things. I felt the love of Jesus extending to them too. and gave $200 to sponsor xiang n dora. I just checked. my sermon notes for 30 oct 2004 and blog entry 31 oct 2004..... 2004. Today, 2007, God brought me back to then, and told me again, i could be that girl. And dear sheryl reminded me of the meaning of my name subsequently. 26 jun 2004, I was baptised with the name charis - God's grace. And suddenly she just say out of the blue, maybe God is rounding up everything. Suddenly, i came to realisation that over these 3 years, God has been moving in my life. After 30 Oct 2004, there are times i was irritated, angered, things happened that pain me. I just looked back on my diary for 2005.. God has worked so much from 2004 to 2005, even more in 2005, then 2006, now 2007. As i read, i saw how sometimes i struggled so hard, sometimes i felt like giving up. the agony, the emotions, the thoughts... wow. So much... I dont know if it will be a closure, but i am very sure, looking back, i see God's faithfulness in following me through everything. I see His power and ability in helping me overcome my fears, pains, pride, resistance, struggles... I see how He has changed me. I am here, changed because i serve a faithful and almighty God! =D Share what vanessa told me over msn: this forgiveness thing always boils down to gratefulness and thankfulness. itz bcos we fail to rem what God has done for us....tt's y we think tt we ourselves are ok and good...then we start to point fingers at other ppl..finding fault with them abt this and that, forgetting that we have flaws and faults too..and yet God has forgiven us the steps are easy to know...hard to follow...tt's y ppl need reminder....actually everyone knows wht we shd do..but juz dun wan/can't do it God, help me to remember what You have done for me everyday of my life, so that I will always be grateful n thankful, not to point finger and find fault in others, but to forgive and love. I may forget along the way, please remind me always. When i dont want to or cant do it, help me.. give me all that I need, so that i can forgive and love, and walk in Your ways. Amen Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, Sharing with you -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:48 AM
I had such a fulfilling week last week! HAHA. Had e-learning in NIE, so no lesson, except for communication skills. Think i had good life then, you are wrong... There was alot of assignments. Around 18 tasks to do. yes, that much. haha. And i go modern levites from thurs night to sat. So i wanted to finish as much as possible fast. Yes, time management. haha... I have never been so hardworking before.. haha, maybe have lah. But i think i'm pampered in NUS. HAHA. Past week, have been doing work from 10pm till 3/4 am, sleep, wake up at 12/1pm, then do work again.. woah. But, i am happy to announce, I HAVE JUST COMPLETED ALL MY E-LEARNING WORK! yes, i have.. including readings ok.I dont usu do the readings one. =) Modern Levites conference is just so cool! Paradise band and ps vivien hibbert. =) Learnt lot on worship,heart of worship,prophetic worship, worship leading.... and i sneak to a vocal session. heh. Alot of info and things to digest, esp by ps vivien..havent found time, but must start looking at her notes and going deeper in understanding. Oh, and i have a new conference buddy. haha.. vanessa seow, or that's what she called me..=) I like pastor mark anderson, he's very good looking! *drools* And he's such a humble man, sharing with us his past, admitting when he doesnt know how to answer a qn... and he's a quiet man. haha. I like anna and jaye too! Anna has a great voice, i want to sing like her. Jaye composes songs! gosh... I sound like some young girl facinating over these great people of God. haha.. and i got them to autograph. HAHA! No worries, they are not my idols.. just wanna remember them haha. Ps Vivien is the ultimate one. She autographed her book, prophetic worship, for me. Not anyhow one ok... she asked for my name, gave the meaning.. grace and favor.. I am highly favored! Then she thought for a while, seeming to be praying, before dropping the note, signing off.. And.. she dropped a bible passage! Ps rol was still saying she has a prophetic ministry. Gasps! Armed and dangerous - modern levite, a worship warrior "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Labels: In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:16 AM
It's E-learning week,no lesson, but tonnes of assignments and group work to do. :( I shall go and do up a list of all the assignments and group work. 1sept was a great day. haha! Had teacher's conference in the morning at at Marriot hotel. My first conference. hehe.. The minister shared about the story of the guy who can sleep through the storm. Heard it before, but somehow when he shared, it spoke to me again. I want to be able to sleep peacefully through the storm. So... i must read the bible, pray and listen to God everyday, so that i'm deeply anchored in Him. God protects and provides for me! =) Pastor khong's sharing is like a combination of the sermons, Ed Silvoso conference... Always thankful, victorious in Christ and a blessing. I think the main point i carry away is, i have been chosen to be a teacher and God wants to use me. Learning to receive this calling and move on to receive the vision and respond. Had cell in the afternoon at cheryl's place. Had a pretty long cell, started at about 3, ended at 530. HAHA. Shared on restoring broken fellowship. But sam's shoes were stolen. So bad... so she had to go home wih cheryl's slippers. Luckily her mum didnt scold, just her dad nagged abit. Then.. it was movie outing with dancers, case, cand, ruixiang and jia hui!!! Watched Ratatouille. My gosh. i so love it. haha.. Will blog abit about it, so dont read on if you want to watch and don't want it to spoil the show. About the rat, who loves to cook and how he worked with the guy to whip up good food. A wonderful show with fantastic graphics, a beautiful plot of relationship between people and rats. I thought the emotions and characteristics of the characters were very well shaped and portrayed. I was totally absorbed into the show because the storyline twist and turn, so interesting and the graphics are like so real! Be like the rat. Don't give up on ur dreams... You can use your talents to fulfill your dreams even if it seems impossible at the start. You can still do it if you dont give up. =) I like the show!!! Then had a drink with the dancers before going to grapevine to look for lionel, kenny, xiang and sarah. =) Was late for dance on sun. =( Felt super unprepared.. Had to warm up on stage and quickly run through the steps. First song, felt quite lost and jin zhang.. so in my heart i cried out, "God, help me" Simple.. but God did. Quickly, i got myself to focus on worshipping God and dancing with joy, not focusing on what is the next step. Lord's supper... disappointment. "I love you" Word was on Elijah. I knew every point was for me.. precious thought i fell asleep, but i didnt. haha =) i was reflecting. When God is speaking, He speaks. The moment i open my hands and pray, i cried... so stepped forward into the ministry. Rachel n rong hui prayed for me.. 2 people, 2 prayers, but same word.. must be from God. He takes delight in me, press on, build up resilence, persevere, my inheritance is secure in heaven for me. And God in His power will protect me and guide me through. Somehow... i hope... i will be like Elijah, after the touch of God, to rise up victorious and anointed. Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:42 PM
Thank You Lord for speaking.. today's QT jerked me a little.. Nehemiah 5:16 - 6:9 "The secret of success in the Christian life is not just saying "No" to whatever is wrong, but saying "Yes" to what is right." We must learn to turn our backs on that which is negative and turn our faces to the positive, the will n purpose of God. So i should be single-minded, focus on what God wants me to do and not be distracted by other things, even good things. N what count is God's opinion of me. "At times the temptation that came to Nehemiah comes also to those seeking to do something special for God. It is the temptation to give up what we are doing in the interests of tact and diplomacy....The devil approaches us and whispers, 'Stop what you are doing and explain your actions to others. Diplomacy and dialogue will help you get your work done faster.' There may be a place for diplomacy and dialogue, but the situation must be evaluated most carefully. When faced with a situation like Nehemiah, who was wrongly accused (6:5-9), we can respond in 2 ways, open denial or earnest prayer. I choose earnest prayer.. but what do we pray about? That God will let these accusations carry no weight? No, pray that my hands will be strengthed so that His work mght prosper. I'll leave my reputation and future to the One i served... this is quiet confidence - the kind, if we know Nehemiah's God, we too can have. Wow, thank You God for speaking to prepare and minister to me. I choose not to explain or deny, not to be diplomatic, but to pray earnestly, God, strengthen me for Your work! It's Your opinion that matters... You know me, You know my thoughts, my actions, my words, my everything, my heart... Thank You. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:55 AM
GCYC - Didnt go down on thurs cos i forgot to bring my tag,no one was going and i was tired. Hee.. But went down on fri night. Fri was really a.. wonderful day. First, was walking from Nel to EW line,my left slippers broke. So i had to slide to the side and staple the slipper together. Could hold the slipper, but abit uncomfortable cos the staples were hurting my toes. So i went to buy a new pair of slippers after class at jurong point. Couldnt find a new pair, so decided to buy neckermann. Quite like it... Then, when i was reaching tct, i wanted to change slippers, realised one of the studs is missing! tian ah.. In the end, i didnt change the slippers cos i thought i might go down n exchange for a new pair. But i was lazy, so i stuck one flower crystal on.. it looks unnoticable. haha... Wonderful... that's not all. On the bus to tct, the girl beside me was reading the GCYC booklet. And i thought wow, so hardworking.. haha. N immediately, God spoke to me. I was like that too. Excited about the events, to meet God, to read the things given, to be at events even if i'm alone... N God said to return to the first love i had for Him. :( During session at night, pastor eugene gave the same word again. To return to the time when God's love touches you... The word was then given by pastor julie. A beautiful word... to be like an eagle to soar, see and renew. N the invitation was once again, to renew myself in the Lord. To put down everything, the achievements, past experiences, feelings... n to return to the point of nothing, so that i wont be weighed down, but can soar to greater heights. :) Sat - reached only in the afternoon,but in time to hear from cambodia, laos,vietnam. Amazingly, i met 5 groups of foreigners on the way to tct, all speaking diff languages. Gave me a sense of diff voices praising God. Anyway, i'm so touched by what God has done and will be doing in these nations. To see them grow over the 3 years... wow. Danced for worship and it's one kind of experience. The diff nations clapping the sticks, jumping and worshipping God. WOW. I was abit jin zhang at the start, cos at tct the ppl are very near, unlike expo. haha... but on stage,i just totally engaged in worship cos everyone else was! Tired, but enjoyed it. Night session by pastor eugene on Who Jesus is to me and the Key to be Jesus Lord of All. What has been quenching the fire of God in our lives? unbelief, unwillingness, ungratefulness. We ended with a time of repentance, lighting the candle of the nations and praising God! I'm sure the nations are blessed. And side note, i love the Youthnet pastors.. all so cute. HAHA. The final closure of GCYC was sun service and the dinner. Thank God for the chance to be at the dinner. Made new friends.. And I heard the nations sing! Gosh.. recorded it down, but cant upload it cos it's too big. I'll find ways. We almost brought the roof down.. it's so heart warming to see n hear the voices, esp when we sang Jesus we enthrone You in the different languages. Wow, talking about every nation, every tribe, every tongue praising God. God is moving in the nations... =) Labels: Event, In the mirror, Serving God -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:27 AM
Really totally, throughly enjoyed myself these few days with michelle n dolce from Hillsongs. Monday was only from leaders and cheoreographers, but i got lessons till 530pm, so couldnt go for the afternoon session on cheoreo... *sad* Met them for dinner at this hong kong food place.Not bad and pretty cheap.. Then night session on leadership. Michelle talked about keys to be a great leader in dance ministry. One key thing i rmb is the part when we thought about the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats for the ministry. We talked about how to improve our weaknesses and make the threats into opportunities. Tues only had night session, but it was wonderful. Learnt abit of this really fast song, "Victory". Hip hop style.. Wed, missed the extra session in the morning cos i got lesson. Met them at chinatown before going back for full dance session. Woohoo! exciting. Dolce taught us the full cheoreo for "victory". Fast and not easy. haha... i have difficulty in turning! Cant balanced... haha. Then she did "None but Jesus" slow worship song, shown in the video in the previous entry. Very nice and ministering.. =) Night was session again. We talked about dance that communicates. The key really is to portray the right message, to God and to the people watching so that we can all enter into worship and praise. Did a simple army exercise to see the big contrast between a strong n confident dancer and pne full of fear. Then we learnt another new song, dont know the name. this one is the fastest, dfficult leh. Thurs, i was there for morning n night session, but missed afternoon dance session cos i have tutorial. Morning session was on the vision n how it relates to dance. Very interesting cos we have never talked about this. A few things i caught, obey God in the small ways, it's God's purpose for u. And we discussed how to personlised the church's vision for dance. Michelle also talked about the meaning of "Here i am, send me." Not necessarily meaning mission, it could be using me to talk to the right people at the right moment, sending emails, wearing a T-shirt with a print that bless others, or bringing people to me. Really exciting to see all the visions forming and things we can do as a team. =) Back from tutorial, attended the night session where michelle shared about us being dancers or ministers. The process of doing things will determine if it is ministry or not. The things we do may not have the content, but if we do it prayfully and meaning it for God's purposes, it will be ministry. She then brought out 9 points on things that create dance ministers, not just dancers. I'll just share one which caught me. Increase, increasing awareness of the presence of God. We always say we want to bring the presence of God into the place, but God is always around, what we can do is to connect and be aware of His presence. There are many more points which she talked about throughout these 4 days that brought alot of wisdom and enlightenment to me. =) Finally, we ended off by dancing a couple of times to "None but Jesus". Really using the dance to worship and engage with God. And pastor paul n laifun prayed for the leaders who in turn prayed for the teams,to set us apart as dance ministers for God. Pastor laifun's word to me was simple, to have the freedom and confidence to dance in worship. And pastor paul's ending prayer brought a tug, For God chose me, and chose me to bring fruits, fruits that will last... The ministry was really deep and God was with us,of course... and i believe the ministry will continue till completion. =) Labels: In the mirror, Serving God -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:05 AM
Back from hong kong.. haha. i'm like abit lost, mixed up my phone function, rejected my dad's call 2 times, forgot all the dance steps, don't know how to talk to shop attendants cos i thought they speak in canto, extra sensitive to ppl who speak in canto... HAHA. and i'm still thinking of all the hong kong scenes. =) I shall update abit on the cluster superSTAR training academy first... reported in on thurs for mentors. First activity was to count beans.. HAHa. Had to count 1500 beans per pack. Gosh, was so worried that i counted wrongly.. then had some bonding time of games, worship n sharing. Terry shared from the parable of talents, and what caught me was that God gave each according to his ability. 5, 2 or 1.. God knows what we are good at n what we can handle. =) Friday was an intensive time of downloading the the camp details, briefing n ministry. Abit overloaded.. so i guess who abit tired. But God is very good in the sessions, spoke very clearly and though it was tiring, He sustained me all the way. :) Campers in on friday night. Met up with them... played ice-breakers first. Not too bad, they were pretty coorperative and played as much as they could. Though the guys were abit more cheeky n playful. Had to think of a few more games to kill time. Then the night sessions started. first night was really to let them know that physical appearances dont make them superstars. my group was pretty ok. Had fun... just that we missed a station cos of time delay. They were quite disappointed. The night wrapped up with dressing up the mentors for clothes for pastor laifun. Super high n fun.. HAHA. The female mentors were really a great bunch. Threw their best effort in... act, walk, play. =) Sat was pretty tiring.. Had amazing race. Ran around bedok. We didnt come in top.. came in 12th. But i guess overall, they still had fun and it provided a chance for them to break the ice further. Really must affirm the committee for putting in so much effort. The envelopes n stuff were so real n good. Really added to the feel. haha. The concert was pretty good too. I totally enjoyed serving dinner. HAHA... So much so that we could forget about ourselves n our dinner. haha.. The dance competition was fun too.. Really thank God for Glifford in my group. He is always so available to help n participate. First at the make up station, then as the dancer. Though he was abit resistant, he really gave his best, practised real hard, and tried his best. Da ge, if u are reading this, he is good... plus his sharing, all very mature and can see he does want to grow in the Lord and give unto Him. =) He won third! haha... my group cheered really loud for him. =) Yiliang's testimony was pretty touching. Can i give up the things i have? that's a qn if i have put God first and havent lose my purpose in Him.. Slept really late cos was writing the notes to the campers. Thank you for waiting for me. =) Was pretty sleepy, n was trying to keep myself awake. =P Sessions throughout the camps were fantastic! One, pastor rol n laifun really shared from their hearts. I caught lots from them too.. Two, the ministry times were great, cos i knew very strongly it wasnt me, but it was God who moved in the hearts of the youths, simply because He loves them and wants to draw them to Himself. =) I'm learning what it means to move by the Spirit. =) Labels: Event, In the mirror, Serving God -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:59 AM
Brokeness. It is a dangerous but awesome prayer.. God hears and He will honour it, but He takes great delight in it too. I've responded to the ministry twice consecutively, both occasions, no one came to pray for me. At first i still thought, did i hear correctly? First time, it was just a peace in response to a call not to compare, to run my own race. Second, was a call to brokeness, dying to self. Was struggling, did i hear wrongly? How come no ministry... But God said yes, and He was pleased i went because my heart is not hardened towards Him. And i prayed for myself. I realised, that was the start of the process of breaking me. Came wed... the first step of breaking myself. Dont be too conscious of self, what others' think. Though i felt terrible, not knowing why things will become like tt, it's a learning process to be secure. Friday. RL288 meeting.. I saw a vision of a tunnel which is very dark. Only a source of light at the end.. And God reminded me to take the narrow road, not turning left nor right, even if it is difficult. I will reach the end. And i saw paradise at the end, so beautiful... Keeping my eyes focused on the things above and my reward. =) N pastor laifun talked about brokeness again. No more running... this is the dont-know-how-many times God points at my heart. I stood up in ministry.. difficult, but i remained standing. Prayed for myself, with pastor rol's leading... i know. Then camy prayed for a tenderheart. I know what God is trying to say... dont be too conscious and cautious because of past hurts n experiences, love freely and be tenderhearted, even though it means being vulnerable. What pastor rol shared caught my attention, a christian life is not merely about change, a Victorious christian life is a life of divine exchange. I'm crucified, and Christ lives in me. I shall learn to walk in the Spirit and victory of the Lord. =) It is time to respond, enough of running away n feeling so tired. i cant run away from God, He is so majestic and He will never let me go. He spoke some time ago, He spoke during Youthnet leader's mtg, He spoke time n time again... i just brushed it aside, probably because i have grown to like it. No breakthrough, because I didnt act upon what God told me to. What prayers can i ask Him to answer? Time to give up the childish ways and grow up. Time to forget the past and stop expecting the same. Time to be strong. I am meant for greater things for God! =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:12 AM
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