Light beyond the storm.
""He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men;
"yet they cannot fathom what God has done from the beginning to end.” – Ecclesiastes 3:11
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Sunday, August 30, 2009 A dedication for teachers during worship. A renewed calling to be a teacher. An affirmation that this is His plans and He will be with me always. A comfort from Him. A reminder to trust and depend on Him. I responded... thank you, miracle maker, Lord of all, Daddy God =) Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 11:57 PM
Interesting ways through which God works... Last night my facebook account had a word from God and it says it's time to forgive yourself. Today during altar call, the person prayed a prayer of forgiveness and release of bitterness so that our hearts can be pure. Then cheryl prayed a prayer to know that God makes everything beautiful in His time. During QT, i read phi 3:14 and God told me to forget what is behind and press on towards what is ahead. Tonight's message from God on facebook is that it's OK. Just rest for a moment. It's OK. Yes, things are crazy, yes, the world is going nuts. Yet, deep underneath the stormy waves, there, in the core of your being, there is pure silence, pure love. And ... it's ... just ... OK. WOW. Awesome God... Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:56 AM
Past week hasn't been an easy week... Some things happened, but through them all, God taught me very precious lessons. He told me He allows things to happen so that He can mould me and teach me. He allowed them to happen so that they act as a thorn in me, that hurts and reminds me that His grace is sufficient for me, and His strength is made perfect in weaknesses. It is also a thorn to remind me that i must not be proud of my own talents and ability... it is Him who has given all to me, He can always take them away. But He gives me so that i can use them for His glory. I'm also glad that through it, i saw people who are truly concerned for me and stood beside me. Thank God for such beautiful angels in my life. =) Sharon's sharing on friday was a wake up call. I guess i have lost the passion to see transformation in PL too. My five loaves and two fishes... God can multiply them and use them so that great miracles can happen beyond my imagination. I give them.... Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 4:08 AM
Your view on yourself: You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Your views on education Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. Did the quiz on huimin's blog. quite interesting...=) Havent been blogging cos tied down at work, ministry and stuff... But to mark off today, i'm going back to my first love, my first enthusiasm, my first faith... God help me=)Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 11:42 PM
Havent blogged for a long time. Hehe.. busy watching 李小环与苗翠花, i like amy kwok. HAHa. playing maple, doing some work here and there. note, some... not alot of motivation. It's holiday eh.. =) Major events... should be staff outing. But lazy to post the pictures.. Had lots of fun on tt day. I led worship, and was super jin zhang.. I said lunch instead of breakfast! HAHA. But the staff was very cooperative, and lovey. hilltop walk was ok, just that it POURED. I finally watch evan almighty, and we got to make our own smoothie. My group's the best! Just throw everything in and the drink came out, good! Even the trainer said so ok.. heee. Had lots of fun at the dinner too, i think my table was the noisiest because we were guessing each other's school. I love my colleagues! =D Another one... staff CIP. I went to deliver veggies and fruits with david and mrs rajah. CIP... really. But it's quite simple, just drove to 4 places, pass them the goods. done. :) Encounter. I had a combination of 3 cells, 7 girls, but they clicked so well.. i didn't even have to crack my head to make them feel comfortable. haha.. very nice girls and God did an amazing work in their lives. Pray that He will continue it! And... pastor hee guan is super cute.... *ahem* but he's also very zai ok, strong in the spirit, right on the spot! :) Oh, and i finally had cell outing with my girls. HAHA! after so many unsuccessful planning, we managed to watch movie, play abit of arcade and went to the beach! I tried learning blading. Eh... i think i still cant? HAHA.... try harder hui. :) But i'm glad we had fun! :) Today. Leader's meeting. I was very encouraged by Kelvin soh's story. :) And pastor eugene led us to think about God's grace in our lives. As i shared bits of my testimony, I was suddenly reminded of how many times God forgiven me, even after i fall back to my old sins. How i used to challenge Him to answer my prayers to prove Himself to me. How i seek blessings and goodness for myself, ignoring Him in good times. Wanting my own desires and wishes to come true, never really asking what He has in mind. How i seek my own pleasures and think only of myself. But He never complain, never give up on me. He is always standing there, waiting for me to turn back, willing to forgive and receive me again. No wonder pastor always say, unless you realised how much u have sinned, u will not appreciate how much the grace God has given. How many times must we forgive? 77 times. "My chains are gone, i've been set free, my God my Savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace." Out of His amazing grace, flows His unfailing love. Labels: Christ in me, Event, Give thanks -The Princess Jesus Loves- 3:05 AM
Had a new haircut and color. Hee... birthday month discount ma. Looks different? i guess so, but i will get use to it after a few days. Spent some time packing my room on sat. Managed to clear my 2 shelves and some files on the table. Read this chapter in Woman after God's own heart which talks about woman learning to taking care of their household because that's God's calling for them. God wants us to keep our houses clean, and become a sanctuary for our families. I'm not married, but suddenly it dawns on me that this truth applies to me too. I need to keep my room clean, and learn now, so that i will grow to be a virtuous woman. HAHa.. sounds weird. But yah, woman after God's own heart also takes care of her house. =) Was late again for platform. Felt super guilty.. No matter what reasons i can give, there is no excuses. I need to stop being late. :( God suddenly spoke to me the other day about this issue. I used to be punctual, and in fact, sometimes early for my appointments. Still remember sometimes i will wait for people, sit down at mrt station and read a book. But i think... after uni days? I became lazy, and don't like to wait. I will plan such tt i reach on time, but usu things crop up and i will end up late. I need to pluck out the lazy bug in me, plan to reach ahead. But platform was good. Told God tt i'm not going to let any distraction draws me from worshipping Him. It can be abit distracting when i look out for people from stage, camera man walking around etc... God told me tt when i think about how others think, i am worshipping them. But, i only have one audience, my Daddy God, and should only worship Him. That was a new revelation. HAHA. And like what sebas shared, let us worship God with all we have so that our worship is like the woman who broke the alabaster jar of perfume, smelling good! And i did! I really dance with no reservations and i sang out loud whenever i can. Really breatheless. Emmanuel is God with us, and as we took the Lord's supper, God reminded me again, He is with me! He has a part in me. :) Sermon was pretty familiar and simple. God's economic order, we are stewards, all we have are God's and He can use them. Ps Khong did a simple illustration where he took ps hee guan's $10 and gave it to ps yang chern. Then he told ps yang chern to give away the $10, which was easy cos the money was not his. If all we have are God's, it will be easy for us to give right? But i know it's difficult for me to give. Greed, fear, pride.... I want more for myself, i fear i have not enough, i want to look good with wealth and blessings. May God help me, as i put in all the notes i have, to give as i have received. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, Serving God -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:02 AM
School's over! But it's not hols yet, because we still have o level and still have to go back to school. Been doing invigilation in other schools. Quite interesting, like... i used to be there taking the exams. HAHA... shall blog on my birthday. hehe.. hmm.. really thrilled and blessed by the "surprise" at the airport. Wasn't a big hoo-hah, but i appreciated it sooo much. =) Thanks for the balloon, drawings, chocolates, sweets, cards, watch, cake.. Thanks for going down to airport so early to plan and get ready.. Thanks for having lunch at Mac's and the mini celebration.. thanks! =) And another surprise came after church. Pearlyn was really cute, dragging me out, saying that she had something to tell me. And ta-da, saw so many of them.. Ber, shiying, valerie, janice, darie, vicki, linda, jiaying.. Beyond words. Thank you for coming to church and celebrating my birthday for me.. Thanks for the gifts, love every single one of it.. Thank yousss! =) And third surprise came from dearest pastor lily. She remembered! and bought me a nice CD. Very blessed and thankful indeed. She won't see this, but i've sms-ed. Thank you! =) And thanks to all who sms-ed and dropped a message on facebook. hehe... thanks! =) Went back to the airport for the second time, this time to pick my sis who is coming back from malaysis. Went out for dinner with my family after that. Had a simple meal, but didnt get to cut the cake because brother was working till late. Doesn't matter, am just grateful for the thoughts and simple gestures. =) So blessed already, but of course Daddy God remembers too! Pastor Patrick shared a very thought provoking and heart jolting message on serving. To bring people to the Kingdom, it is through being a servant. Only when we serve humbly and be relevant to people's need, can we be an impact. See, have compassion, then heal. We don't just see people as part of the scenery, or people who can work for us or we work for them. We need to see their needs and serve them, the only way which Jesus showed, was to walk and fellowship with them. "Until I can trust you with my compassion, I cant trust you with my power" This line struck me so hard. When i pray, i want to see miracles and answers. When i work, i want to see fruits and work done. Bringing healing to the sick, causing the blind to see. But God cant trust us with that power He gave Jesus, unless we can have compassion like Jesus. It struck me the hardest, because i realised i got it wrong. Being a christian is not about praying and performing miracles, not about playing church and bringing people to the Lord, not about fulfilling our duties at church and doing what we can to meet up to God's expectation. Not that these are wrong, they are what God wants us to do. God does not want to rule the world, have people submit to Him, have control over all and power and authority. He has it all. God wants to love His people. Best shown in His Son, who came not to overthrow the rulers and rule the world Himself, not to display of His power and make everyone believe in Him.. else He would have walked down from the cross? But He died because He loves us and want to bring us back to a loving father. How simple... God is love. =) Just that day before, God spoke to me. And He confirmed it during service again. I told God, i want, but i cant. I am weak... so please help me. And i know He will. And He told me on wed again, i have favor so that i can make an impact. I am an impact-maker. =) Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a wonderful birthday. =)Labels: Christ in me, Event, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:08 AM
I've got the order wrong... See, Have Compassion, Heal Know God, Receive His love, Serve in Thanksgiving and with His heart Thank you Lord.. i'm wrong. Please make a way out, guide me. Amen. :) Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 4:27 AM
Watched sunday's sermon again.. and was reminded. "11Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. 12I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. 13And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father." John 14:11-13 The one thing God requires us to do, is to believe! If i believe, i can do greater things because Jesus is with God and will do whatever i ask in His name. =) "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Tim 1:7 The Spirit, same Spirit, that rose Jesus from died lives in me. I have the victory of God in my life... Believe. I believe i can fly, because i have wings and i am in everlasting arms. =) I used to think that I could not go on And life was nothing but an awful song But now I know the meaning of true love I'm leaning on the everlasting arms If I can see it, then I can do it If I just believe it, there's nothing to it I believe I can fly I believe I can touch the sky I think about it every night and day Spread my wings and fly away I believe I can soar I see me running through that open door I believe I can fly I believe I can fly I believe I can fly See I was on the verge of breaking down Sometimes silence can seem so loud There are miracles in life I must achieve But first I know it starts inside of me, oh If I can see it, then I can be it If I just believe it, there's nothing to it Hey, cuz I believe in me, oh If I can see it, then I can do it If I just believe it, there's nothign to it Hey, if I just spread my wings I can fly I can fly I can fly, hey If I just spread my wings I can fly Fly-eye-eye Labels: Christ in me, Sharing with you -The Princess Jesus Loves- 6:40 PM
Back to update. Hmm... School has been alright. Went for a camp in the first 3 days and many exciting things happened! haha... ambulance, snake, ndp. Woah.. was pretty tired after the camp, but thankful for it because i got to know more people and got to know some better. I missed the times we slack in the dorm and talk.... =) Back to normal school time... still managing, but i can see the pile of homework to be marked. haha. My classes are still quite ok, since they are lower sec. Some girls are pretty adorable too.. =) back to a familiar ground, but different role... feels... interesting. HAHA. Starting on 40 days fast.. fasting on breakfast or lunch, but since my stomach feels weird sometimes, i'm also fasting from games and snacks at night, in case i cant fast from meal. fasting on snack can be real difficult for me, especially at night. God is also speaking to me through the booklet. It is not about going through the 40 days as a routine, duty... not to fast for our own pleasure or delight, not to feed our ego or to be focus on ourselves. It is fasting for God... the fast that pleases God is that when we remember the poor, when we seek Him with all our hearts and when we put down our own interest and allow Him to tranform our hearts. Today's sermon was a starter for it. Pastor Bray was super good... i like him. =) He can rap, sing, play the keyboard and he preaches real well.. The message did come from God, timely and accurately. We must die to our self-consciousness. Being self-conscious will lead to fear - fear of people's approval, opinions and judgement on us, to shame - to feel unworthy, guilty, shameful, to shifting of blame and to rejection. How true... being self-conscious stops us from reaching our potential, from fulfilling our talents, from allowing God's will to come through in our lives.. But i don't want to miss out on all these blessings, i want to be the best that i can be, so that i can fulfill the plans of God in my life. I axed that tree of self-consciousness today. It might still grow back, so i need to continually weed my life and don't let any tree of self-consciousness takes root.. no no... believe and have faith, it shall be done, will be done, is done! =) Labels: Christ in me, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:58 AM
Came back from cluster camp... i wanna mark now today. Throughout the three days, pastors gave a few invitations. To die to myself, to surrender, to follow Jesus... I know when pastors gave these invitations, God was inviting me too. I didn't make the decisions quickly, because this time, i know it is not easy and the price is high. I don't know if i can hold on, or i will fall back again. I don't know if i have the abilities to do what He asks. I don't know if this will just be another spiritual high, and i will come down again. Pastor said when God gives a word, He doesn't expect opinions, not our negotiations, not our complaints nor fears, reservations nor questions. He expects obedience. I stood up. I know i cannot do it, but i stood and asked God to help me. I know i may fall back, but i stood and asked God to sustain me. This call for me to die to myself, my dreams, my desires, my pleasures, my self-satisfaction, my comfort, my time.... i pray that i may die, so that God may live in me. and i pray that i may die, so that you and you can live. May i decrease and He increase. More of Him and less of me. LEAD ME TO CALVARY King of my life I crown Thee now Thine shall the glory be Lest I forget Thy thorn-crowned brow Lead me to Calvary Lest I forget Gethsemane Lest I forget Thine agony Lest I forget Thy love for me Lead me to Calvary Show me the tomb where Thou was laid Tenderly mourned and wept Angels in robes of light arrayed Guarded Thee whilst Thou slept Let me like Mary thro' the gloom Come with a gift to Thee Show to me now the empty tomb Lead me to Calvary May I be willing Lord to bear Daily my cross for Thee Even Thy Cup of grief to share Thou hast borne all for me Labels: Christ in me, Event -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:45 AM
Just wrote my reflection for worship central confercen on 12 april by Tim Hughes, Al Gordon and team.. shall share here... 1st Morning Session This is probably the most thought provoking and strongest session for me. What Tim Hughes taught was what we have heard or learnt before. Worship is the way we live our lives in response to the revelation of God. But I realized one thing; I have distorted the meaning of worship which I have heard because the true meaning of worship is pretty difficult to grasp. I used to think, worship is how I live my life to please and thank God, worship is when I ask God to help me worship Him, worship is what I can do to enter into God’s presence. But when I saw how Tim Hughes and Al Gordon worshipped God, I realized worship is the simplicity of heart which just humble before God, knowing that there is nothing we can do to allow ourselves to worship God. It is God Himself allowing and bringing us into His presence to worship Him. And when we realize this and know we cannot, we are humbled and we turn to give God glory. True worship has the power to change us and to change the world because we realize how powerful God is and humble ourselves to His change. He reveals Himself and ourselves to us, so that we put down ourselves and yearn to be like Him. Worship Theology 2 things which I have learnt from 2 bible characters, John and Moses, are to be intimate with God and to be obedient. John was so close to Jesus, he could lay his head on Jesus’ chest, to hear His heartbeat. God calls us to come near to worship Him, and to hear His heartbeat, which is for the poor and lost. Moses on the other hand, though was a man of God, he came to a point in time when he felt the stress of the people and did not obey God by speaking to the rock, and instead he struck the rock which he did previously. I have never seen this story in this way and it was a great lesson learnt. Sometimes we tend to give in to temptations and do things in our ways which we feel more comfortable or confident in. However, God calls for obedience, so that He can bless us with greater things, or we might be like Moses, who never saw the Promised Land. This analogy is pretty cool, which I must remember. “Every morning I wake up, I set myself on fire by reading the bible or praying. Then I go out and spread the fire.” Authentic Leadership This session was similar to the email pastor rol sent out to us, so it was a reminder with further add-ons by Al Gordon. All that were shared are tools we can use to make us better leaders. No need to repeat the points, but I shall share what I have learnt. 1) Be real – You are the same when you are on stage, with your members, with your family or even alone. 2) Be secure in the Lord – God loves me, I will live me. 3) Be reflective – I can learn and do many things, but I need to reflect, make changes and apply new lessons on my life so that I change for the better. Evening Session The last session was a summary to all that we have learnt, our worship must be Christ-centred, Holy Spirit led, revealing the Father, intimate, sensitive to the need of the people and transforming. 1) Before we sing to the Lord, He already sings to us. 2) I must decrease and He must increase. 3) Be a thermostat worshipper, to set the temperature for worship and influence the people around. Finally, I guess the most important lesson I have learnt is not in the sessions conducted, but it’s in the lives of Tim and Al. I remembered pastor shared how Tim was disgusted with the prize award which he went to collect the award for his song, “Here I am to worship”. He responded that songs for worship are meant for God, not the awards. I was humbled by this sharing. So many times I hoped for recognition for things I have done, but in Tim, I realized everything should be for God, not expecting rewards. I see in them the simplicity of life, which is just to please God. This reminds me that it is not the things I do that matter, not how well I dance, play the guitar, lead the cell, preach the gospel, share a word, minister or pray. It is how I live my life that matters to God and influences people around. Labels: Christ in me, Event, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 1:04 AM
it's 3:25am, just finished marking the maths test papers. quite sad that many of them failed. hopefully they will be able to do better for mid-year. God has been teaching me lots these days. My practicum period is like a crunch time, when i'm pretty stressed and stretched, but i think i'm handling abit better as compared to honours year. Probably this is a small crunch, so more manageable. Probably also because God moulded me during my honours year,plus reading a psalm a day. Though sometimes i get very stressed and lost focus, God always remind me and help me focus back on Him. We often get drowned in our own struggles and problems, but when we looked at Jesus, we can walk on the waters of trouble. just like peter who looked and Jesus and could walk, but sink when he turned his eyes and looked at the water. Dont look at our problems, look at God. Please God only, not the people around. =) Through the session at pastor's place, i learnt 2 things. I always remind myself that it is God who does the work. We pray and do what we can as human, but He is the one who will cause the transformation in me and in my girls, He will bring forth fruits and growth. But i realised, it's not just that. It's not just asking God to do the work, but to ask God to anoint me as that i can do His work. Hope i'm making sense... It's not just about, "God, please bless so-n-so and do Your work in her." But it's "God, please give me the wisdom and anoint me to be like You, so that i can go and do Your work." "Ask and it will be given to you" Mat 7:7. "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." Jas 1:5 Second, we received God's love and forgiveness, and we in turn, serve Him out of thanksgiving and gratitude. Sounds familiar? But today i had a new revelation of it. Jesus asked peter if he loved him three times and when peter said he loved Jesus, Jesus said, "Feed my sheep." Yes, if we love Jesus, we should show it through feeding his sheep. First, we receive God's love for us, knowing that God love us so much, we build a relationship with Him, loving Him. And in loving Him, we will obey and do what He asks us, which is to feed His sheep. It's not like a repaying debt or favor kind of thing. But it is a love relationship with Jesus, so that we are obedient to Him and want to do the things that He is pleased with. And in loving Him, we love the things that He loves. Just like peter who went on serving God, not purely out of thanksgiving and gratitude, because that will cause us to come to a point when we say we have done enough to repay God. Then, our deeds are not link to our hearts. But it's to serve God continuously, because we have a love-relationship with God and we do things out of the overflow of God's love in our hearts and our deeds will be full of love. First, receive God's love and learn to love Him. This season, God is super loud. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28 God has His plans for me, and they would be good. Even if things are not going well now, i trust that God will make all things good for His plans. And see again, those who love Him. Love God! "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." prov 9:10 Always hear about the fear of the Lord, but never really understanding until last time when pastor julie shared that to her, the fear of the Lord is when you think about not having God in your life. How broken, empty and alone... and recently, God is bringing me back to the fear of the Lord. Truely, without it, we will serve without passion and fire. Fear of the Lord, is when i see God in His mighty power and majesty and i am amazed by it. It's when i see how huge His love is, that He opened up His hands to be nailed to the cross, to hung there when He could have came down, to die when He didnt need to.... the amazing love, will keep me in awe of Him and fear Him... giving Him respect and honour. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints." Psa 116:15 Die to myself, my pride, my wants, my dreams, my emotions, my needs, my desires, my selfishness, my negative thoughts..... it is precious to the Lord, because when we die, Jesus lives in us. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 3:25 AM
Havent been updating cos i'm really tired down by practicum. Lesson plans, markings, remedial, meetings, science centre trips.... God has been speaking alot recently too... since sanctification, to practicum, to services, to worship seminar with worship central... loads loads. But there is only 1 reason why He is speaking to me regarding so many things. He loves me. =) I know He is going to take it deeper, breaking me further till i die to myself and abandon myself for Him, showing me more of myself, to know how ugly, dirty and small i am as compared to Him, and moulding me so that i can become more like Him. This is a journey, the only end is when Jesus comes again. Till then, it will never stop, because i need constant breaking and humbling so that i remain humble and pleasing to Him. How would success look like? When i face more n more difficult circumstances, going through tougher and tougher problems, being broken more and more, because that means i am growing in the Lord. Sounds tough and painful? I guess i'm learning to say no. Because my joy, delight and pleasure should not come from the external, from having a good life with no problems. My joy, delight and pleasure comes from knowing that God is in-charge and He is still transforming me to be like Him. Tougher means i'm getting nearer to that goal. Can you imagine these words came from huihui? No, they didn't. They came from God... because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, knowing God and His work in us. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 11:43 PM
Show me how to live, Teach me how to pray, Let all i think and say please You Lord. Teach me how to love, like You have loved me, So that i may become more like You. I cant love, unless You help me. I want to be in Your presence every moment. Apart from You, i really am nothing. Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:22 AM
First day of practicum! Last week was a relaxing week for me. Went to see the doctor for my lips, allegy, and had my wisdom teeth extraction. I'm less wise now. HAHA. Quite ok, just that there are 2 ulcers formed near it, so more painful. Sunday's sermon was..... no words to describe. haha. Was feeling abit lost and frustrated on sat night, like havent really been fasting and praying, cant feel the move and heart of God. I need more. Then on sun, something happened at home. Added to my frustration and lostness. I need God. Sermon on brokenness. guess i havent been broken recently. It's always a journey of brokenness, more and more each time. It's never complete... like one time broken, then done. Because when we consider ourselves once broken and done, we allow pride to come in and say "I'm ok le, cos God has dealt with me." And for me, i know i need to respond to God. Like what lionel wrote in his blog, i can be serving God, leading cell, dancing etc... but my heart has gone cold. I have lost that first love, that passion and fervor for God. Like what pastor khong said, i know what is right and what to do, but the heart of it all is missing. I need a heart transplantation. Thank God for showing me. Woke up earlier this morning to spend some time with God. Not like a wow wow feeling or what. But it's just peaceful and nice to know that i can still do it for Him. Then school. HAHA. Didnt get to meet the students in class because one of my CTs was on MC, missed the other's lesson. The staff are generally nice. And the students were so excited to see us. HAHA. According to the SCM, they like to see new teachers. OH, huimin, my school starts school at 850am on mon. HAHa. 730-850 is for the teachers to do their sharings. So... tmr i shall go in and meet the students in class. hehe. Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 12:57 AM
Havent been blogging, too lazy! haha. Time passes so fast! my gosh... CNY is over, Valentine's day is over, my school term is ending and practicum is starting. that rhymes. haha.. Let's see what i have been doing recently. Went to pastor's place on chu san. Enjoyed myself. haha. played abit of majong, talked to pastors, my girls had fun with sheryl (i hope. haha)... chu si, in church was ok. Pastor Khong is back! and he shared on resting and being still in the Lord. Kind of cool, like resting in storms! i want! First we must trust in the Lord and do good. hang in with God, even if things are difficult now. Continue to have faith in Him, and do good, we will then dwell in his safety. Second we need to delight ourselves in the Lord and be satisfied. When our greatest delight, desires and plans are the same as God, God will bless us with whatever we want, because that's what He wants too! Imagine, ask for anything and it will be given! But we need to deny ourselves... a journey i am still learning. Finally, we need to commit ourselves to the Lord and we will have success. I like the How Would Success Looks Like from pastor. I used to think that success will be having less problems, i will be a strong christian, strong disciples, everything good. HAHa. But God showed me that success is when He brings us to steeper slopes, bigger challenges, requires more commitment, because it means we are grow stronger! Weekdays, back to school, mugged for assignments. 1 lesson plan, 2 essays and 1 presentation in that week. Hee. Oh, then i must blog about thursday. Went down to train with adult dance team. They are very disciplined. First warm up by royston. Really good warm up. HAHA. i felt stretched. Then circuit training... i heard this term, i scare. because i used to have really "xiong" circuit training when i was in netball. But thankfully, the circuit training wasnt like the ones i had. But "xiong" enough to make me felt i have exercised. Kelvin then went through some routines on ballet. haha! quite fun actually, like tiptoe, chine, turns, spot... I've learnt something new. Practising at home eh.. Came the part i must blog on. Pastor paul joined us at 930pm, and we went into spiritual training. so cool right! physical then spiritual. So he got us to read psalm 45, and shared abit. Like Jesus being the King, and we are the bride. He also shared from his experience in bogota, when he lost his wallet and got it back the next day. The adults also had one group to minister from that psalm using dance. Cool! But the best part was when pastor paul shared about his spiritual experience. He was feeling quite blue on monday. Monday blues... and he read psalm 42. Then the next day psalm 43. God brought out the point, why are you so downcast? And he realised he doesnt have to. So he shared psalm 43:5, that when we are feeling down, one way to get out of it, is to praise God. Psalm 8:2, God ordained praises from children because they are the most innocent and would know how to thank God easily and freely. Then Pastor paul gave this illustration. When we are down and struggling, it's like having many little demons holding on to us. No matter how we shake, we cannot get them off. But God says, the best way is to praise Him. When we praise Him, the demons cannot take it. They cant stand the praises of God, and its power. So...... they will cover their ears. With 2 hands covering their ears, how to hold on to us? So all we need to do is to jump and dance, then the demons will fall off! So cute right! But so true. So if you are facing any problems today, praise God and jump and dance with joy!!! =D Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror, School -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:57 AM
I have finished my chem micro teaching! haha. Quite ok, though i think i did better during the trial. But nevertheless, it's over.. and finished 1 presentation too. 1 more maths micro teaching, 3 essays, 2 lesson plans. haha... Was sis's birthday yesterday,so on wed night celebrated for her. Forgot to buy a cake, so i improvised. HAHA. used ice cream and pie for cake. Happy birthday sis! (as if she will see this, HAHA) Was casey's birthday too. Same day, month, year as my sis. and i have another friend who has the same birthday too. how coincidental. =) The dance team celebrated for him and philip. I like the mango cake.. yummilicious. Rehearsal for sun platform was great... ps rol led us to pray first. He said a man was asked what is grace, and the reply was God's richness given in Jesus' Christ. But somehow i heard another thing.. God's grace is me! Thought it sounds quite prideful and wrong. But God told me, His grace is really me, because it is by His grace that i am who i am, i have grown spiritually, i am changed and transformed. Yes, Jesus is God's grace given to us, but i am also God's grace amplified. =) Another thing that God spoke was... "I am in control." Labels: A simple life, Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:20 PM
Just updated the cell blog. Shall just note down something outside psalms, but spoke alot. joshua was sharing about prayer today and this line spoke alot. "When we do not prayer, it is because we do not have faith in God. And without faith, it is impossible to please God." How many times we choose not to pray, even when we need cos... we choose to depend on ourselves, to think about the issues and solve them; we dont think God will care about our problems; we think they are too small to bother God with; we dont feel like or cant bring ourselves to pray... But do we know, that prayer is actually the very solution to most, if not all, of our situations. I guess it's really all, cos there is nothing God cannot do. We may feel that we do not have faith, so maybe even after praying, things may not work out still. But i am reminded, it is not about the size of our faith, but the God in whom we have faith in. Even if we dont feel very strong in our faith, by praying, we tell God, "I may not have faith, but i still pray that You will listen and answer." Small faith, but God will answer. =) Prayer moves the hand of God. Labels: Christ in me -The Princess Jesus Loves- 3:24 AM
Well, have been bloggin on my cell's blog for psalms, so havent been blogging on this blog. But i shall blog on today. so special indeed. =) Actually, need to rewind abit to wed, leader's mtg. Ps julie was sharing on deut 6:4-19. Three points, 1) remember who God is. 2) Hear and obey. 3) Fear the Lord. She gave such a beautiful explanation on the familiar verse, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." Heart means loving God with all my thoughts and mind, not just the emotions, but the thinking.. like u love someone, u will think about that person day n night. Same! but what's amazing is the word strength. Love demands strength. Sounds weird? maybe, but it's true. It takes effort to love. Like loving an unlovable, you need to make yourself love him/her no matter what. Even if that person is lovable, you still need to find time, accept his/her characters, appreciate them.... And ps julie said, if u want to be intimate with God, you have to draw near. But drawing nearer means we need to have the fear of a holy God. Which is why we need to repent of our sins, receive and give forgiveness, forget the good n bad, and get rid of all the bad habits, attitudes etc. And when we do all these, we come naked before God, with nothing to hide.. that's where there is intimacy. There was an invitation to enter into God's rest, to pray that we can grow more intimate with the Lord. But i wasnt sure if it was me.... Then today, during church, first they dedicate the teachers. HAHA. me n kit went forward cos we training teachers mah. Haha. Receive anointing and blessing for practicum lor. (: and for the rest of the year. No more dedication le, better go. kiasu. heh. Then sermon on psalm 1. Finding the way to God's heart.. 1) we must decide to separate our mind from the world. 2) and delight to saturate our spirit with the word. the second point spoke to me pretty much. Meditation... and when ps melvyn asked, do u spend time reading the word of God? I can say, yes... while travelling, at night before blogging, i will read. But... do u enjoy it? I glurpped. I do... but i know i also tend to rush through and think of it as a duty. What ps melvyn said next totally rocked me from my seat. "According to your faith, it will be done. Because in the spiritual realm, there is no boundary. But we cannot rise up to the level of faith if we dont feed our spirit man." Such a familiar verse... but i saw new revelation. God says there is no limit to what He can do, and He will be able to do all things, if we ask in faith. That is a huge faith? I guess it's a faith that says, "God, You can do it! Do it for me!" Like "Dad, you can buy me a plate of chicken rice. Buy for me!" haha.. sounds out of point? But it's just so simple leh. And it's also very simple how to have that faith... to feed the spirit man by reading His word. That's no all.. it's like buy one get one free. You read His word, you will have a faith to ask of anything and it will be given to you, AND, you will be like a tree transplanted to where God's water is, so that you can bear fruits, be green forever and prosper. Good deal? I think it's more than good! Yes it may be hard for us to keep the passion in reading His word. But we just need to press in, and it will become a habit, like we need to eat food daily. Remember how you crave for a plate of hokkien mee, a cheese burger, an ice cream or whatever ur fav food. same! Finally it's that word "know". God knows us, not just know who we are, what we work as, where we live... He knows us better than our families and best friends. He knows your fav food/drink, knows your thoughts and feelings, knows your sins and strengths, knows what you have done and not be able to share with anyone else... intimacy. He knows. So... today was very special. I have performed according to expectation, but God called me to return to my first love for Him. The curiosity in reading about Him, the excitment in going for events, the joy of serving in whatever pastor asked me to, the passion of sharing and impacting into the lives of my girls, the love that He has always been showing me. I rededicated myself to the Lord, to grow in intimacy with Him. =) Labels: Christ in me, In the mirror -The Princess Jesus Loves- 2:25 AM
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